Saturday, September 17, 2016

A Dream About my Mom

    I don't know what to make of dreams.  Sometimes I think they are highly significant and spiritual, other times I think they are just neurons firing quasi-randomly in the cerebral cortex during sleep.  Nevertheless dreams are often haunting and beautiful, though I usually don't remember dreams very well.  But  I had a memorable dream the other night about my Mom who recently passed away, and I felt compelled to record it.

   In my dream I was driving a car, probably a rental car like I might get on a trip.  My regular car is 12 years old and kind of beat up, but this was a new car, so perhaps I was on vacation.  I don't know, I didn't think about it, i just sort of accepted that this is where I was supposed to be. 

     My mother, who passed away a few months ago was sitting in the car also.  But instead of being over 90 years old, she was young, maybe like a young beautiful teenager, with a very different appearance. But somehow I knew she was really my Mom, made younger as if by magic.   I drove steadily uphill, a gradual upward slope, like in the Appalachian mountains or someplace.  The scenery was beautiful with lush green vegetation and tall trees.  After a while we arrived at a stopping point and got out of the car.  At this point I carried my mother still higher.  There was a giant marble staircase, and without question I carried her up the stairs.  She was not heavy at all, not a burden at all, as if magically made lighter. She was dressed in shiny, shimmering clothes, perhaps from her native Korea.
   Finally she spoke.  "Elliot, I was very pleased to be your helper for many many years, but I can no longer do that.   But I want you to know it was never me at all.  For all things come from God." 

    After that the dream ended gently and silently and dissolved into grey shadows of sleep.