What should the US do in order to improve its economy and help create jobs? Suggestions are varied and run the gamut from conservative to liberal. However, as a public service, the Village Elliot wishes to point out that we actually do the opposite. Namely, our elected officials, both Republican and Democrat, are busy thinking of ways to destroy jobs. This may seem odd, but it is actually true, despite the fact that President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney will protest loudly to the contrary in their upcoming debates. Here are some examples of our national priorities
1. Stop drilling for oil. The US has recently found massive sources of oil in North Dakota as well as New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania that will extend the fossil fuel age another 50 years. Well that is just silly. Better that we should kiss up to our friends in OPEC. We can just borrow money to pay for what we want and they will give it to us.
America may be afflicted with trillions of dollars of oil in the Bakken formation in North Dakota and Montana, and the Utica in Ohio, New York and Pennsylvania. This has to be stopped or the gross domestic product will start growing again. Shouldn't we rely on OPEC instead? Why risk hurting their feelings?
2. Stop drilling for natural gas. Within the past five years, industry has brought shale gas to the market, which is going to buy us another 100 years to figure out how to go nuclear and solar. That would be terrible. So let's stop drilling for natural gas now, reduce our standard of living and wait for exciting green technologies to emerge now, rather than 100 years from now.
3. Stop mining coal. Coal can be converted to oil, which would buy another 300 years of the fossil fuel age. Well, we don't want that. We must stop mining coal now, or the evil corporations will continue to impove the standard of living in America, which we don't want.
4. Shut down power plants. That is definitely good for the economy and helps polar bears. Don't forget, for every job that is destroyed by the government, two green jobs will certainly emerge to take their place.
For God's sake, let us shut down power plants NOW, while there is STILL time....in a few more days or even hours, it may be TOO LATE!!
5. Shut down steel plants. Steel is also very icky. Hence we are muc better off now that China produces 7 times as much steel as the US. We can buy it on credit, so there is no need to return to the bad old days when America had to be the world leader in steel production.
Steelworkers' Unions are difficult to deal with, so why not simply close the plants and move steel production to China? That's the kind of efficiency American politicians strive for.
6. Shut down aluminum plants. Who needs aluminum anyway, since beer can be contained in glass? So what if China now produces 9 times the aluminum that we do? We can buy it on credit.
America will save a lot of energy by eliminating energy intensive aluminum plants like this one in Ravenswood WV.
7. Shut down the lighting industry. Let China figure out how to protect its workers from mercury poison. We need to buy the light bulbs in order to shut down the filament light bulb industry. We also hope to save some electicity so we can shut down some more power plants (although Chinese fluroscent lights don't deliver nearly the performance that the government allows them to advertise). We can buy these on credit, so don't worry. American politicians can proudly announce that there are now ZERO light bulb plants in the United States! American politicians are absolutely beaming over their accomplishments
8. If you are a Republican, you can advocate shutting down the Big Three Automakers, but if you are a Democrat, you probably will advocate teaching them to manufacture government-designed fuel efficient wonders that run on batteries. We can buy the batteries from China on credit, so no need to worry about that.
Economic growth is known to be bad for the economy. With any luck, American leadership will succeed in eliminating manufacturing, a key factor for economic growth. It's working in Detroit, and it can work in your area as well.
9. Shut down electronics manufacturing plants. It is ridiculous for the US to manufacture antiquated designs for televisions, DVDs, cell phones, etc. All these are made more inexpensively overseas, and we can buy them on credit. Hence, we need to make sure that these companies are kept off American soil.
10. Shut down chemical plants. These plants increase the value of petroleum, and thus threaten to continue economic prosperity based on fossil fuels, which we absolutely don't want. And don't forget, we can import these products using our magnificent credit line.
Well, these are just a few ideas, but I think you get the idea. American leadership has taught us that we really don't need drilling, mining, manufacturing or other industries that result in environmental issues or politically fractious workers. Let's keep the unemployment level high, borrow money for what we want, and enjoy life, shall we?
Some of you wimps out there may think that the Village Elliot is exaggerating, but in fact American really has banned light bulbs, slashed production of steel and aluminum and is shutting down power plants as we speak.
Meanwhile, don't forget to re-elect your leaders this November!